Arlo
Awful: Arlo regularly and painfully ‘booms’ us (pronounced with a short oo, as in looking). This involves him running into me at top speed and banging me with whatever part of his body he can – head, arms, chest. A related move is a leap onto my back when I am sitting down, usually followed up with a dive over my shoulder. Yesterday Cristina was sitting with Tycho on her lap in the kitchen doorway, watching Jinny puddle around out the front of the dairy as Huey and I worked together in the kitchen. Arlo was at a bit of a loose end, so ran up to C and threw himself onto her back, knocking her face onto Tycho’s head. She banged her eye and was really upset. He said ‘sorry mama’ in a most unconvincing manner and veered off to do something else. This boy loves roughhousing and I do as much as I can with him but I cannot keep up with his need for strong physical contact. He won’t submit to cuddles either, so we get the rough contact but rarely any gentle touch (unless we are role playing where he is the mama and I am the baby). Also awful – deliberately carrying through a behaviour that I have attempted to prevent by asking nicely. Only a physical limit works, and I can’t always manage that, what with three other small children around.
Awesome: He just listened to Cristina read the entirety of The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe. He almost could have listened to it in one sitting – he was begging for it all day long until they got to the end. He has amazing concentration and ability to follow a complex story. His interactions with the babies are getting better and better – much less roughness, more singing and gentle caresses and talking to them. A few days ago he spoon fed both of them with tenderness when we had to run from the table for some reason or another. His craft and drawing are getting more and more representative – for example he made a gorgeous dinosaur out of play dough, with spines along its back, eyes and fangs. Sadly he squashed it before I could get a photo. And yesterday he made a light sabre out of a piece of spaghetti, two beads, and two pieces of sticky tape. He is still completely extroverted and charms the pants off many people that we meet. He also remembers all their names. He has a very sweet desire to tell me the narrative of every tv show and book and story that he comes across. His desire for knowledge is as fierce as ever, but his questions are much less annoying than they used to be.
Huey
Awful: It may not be appropriate to talk about this on the internet but I have had it up to here with the frequent wet patch on his pants. He is completely capable of taking himself to the toilet but he just doesn’t go and jiggles and wiggles and wee leaks out and it seems that I have to bully or sweet talk him into going to the toilet at least five times a day. Even though I know it will fix itself, it is not soon enough for me. It’s something about being at home – today he was completely continent all day at pre-school, yet by dinner time there was a wet patch on his pants again. I’ve had to bring back Looey, who is a creature who lives in the toilet and chats to him while he is there, in an attempt to make toilet trips more appealing – not that it is working. Also, he is still vicious when he doesn’t get his way – poor Arlo gets a bite at least once every week or two. And sometimes the babies suffer too – he will punish us by hurting them, though there has been a little less of this lately (touch wood). He also is a master of the oppositional behaviour that I described with Arlo, and with Huey it is accompanied by a maddening wicked giggle. Argh!
Awesome: He is still mostly sweet lemon delicious pudding – chatty and helpful and delightful. He takes great joy in helping with the cooking and the washing up, and tells me what a good job he is doing as he does so (I usually respond by noting that he is having fun or that he is working hard – ‘good job’ comes from other sources!). This morning he made scrambled eggs almost completely by himself – cracked a dozen eggs, stirred in a bit of milk, and stirred them as they cooked in the frypan. He loves to go shopping and will keep up a lovely non-stop banter from the trolley as we cruise the aisles and select items. He’s been telling Cristina and I both that he wants to marry us (me slightly more often), and one night recently he whispered in my ear just before he fell asleep “Huey and Baba: best friends”. He too has become heaps more gentle and lovely with the babies. Also, he can read! Well, I don’t know how one defines ‘can read’ but he can read enough words to be able to read a simple picture book with a bit of help with unfamiliar words. He knows a lot more words than I realise and I am often surprised when he knows them.
Arlo-and-Huey: I think it’s fascinating that they are approaching literacy from completely different angles. They will both reach the same end (I suspect they are destined to be bookworms, as are their parents), but Arlo is getting there by totally immersing himself in language through long complex stories, and Huey is getting there by focusing on the technical skills of word recognition. What’s even more interesting (and I think related) is that Arlo actually has a better ear for phonics than Huey, but Huey has learnt a lot more actual words by memorising them (his addiction to Reading Eggs has a lot to do with this – he just adores the computer and Reading Eggs is essentially a computer game that has the byproduct of teaching a certain kind of literacy). I should also point out, lest any readers think that we are awful pushy parents, that all this has been pretty much led by them.
Every day I see them becoming compadres more and more. They spend all day bickering and negotiating and competing and playing with each other. They have negotiation skills that most three and four year olds could only dream of, but when the negotiation fails – or, as often happens, is skipped as they leap straight into anger – it can get ugly. Every single car trip involves a discussion about who will get out of the car first. If one is given a treat, they will almost always ask for one for their brother and carefully make sure he gets it. For example, Bert has some kind of swanky metal press that makes coins lovely and domed. The other day he gave a pressed 50c coin to Huey (his favourite denomination), but he didn’t have one for Arlo, so he made Arlo a pressed 10c coin instead. The next day he gave Huey another pressed 50c coin because Huey had been so thrilled by it yesterday, and Huey said ‘oh thank you Bert – here you are Arlo, here’s your kangaroo-and-emu one!’ and handed it over to Arlo. Amazing.
Jinny
Awful: I had to really search to find anything awful about Jinny. Her poo smells really bad. That’s about it.
Awesome: And here I will have to restrain myself. I think nearly one must be just about the most delightful age ever. I was so anxious when I was pregnant, and so worried that she would be badly affected and turn out to be a horrible baby, but I was so very very wrong. She is funny and happy and bright and feisty and beautiful. She is working really hard on communication at the moment. She has a few signs – more, finished (but they look the same), pointing, nodding and shaking her head for yes and no, and a sign that seems to simultaneously mean outside and dog. And a few words ‘baba’, ‘mum-mum’ (for Cristina), ‘ha-ge’ seems to mean ‘hello’, and ‘nan-nan-nan-nan’ means ‘no’. She loves peek-a-boo. She bounces when she hears music. She’s working on walking by standing up from a squat with a delighted grin on her face. She has discovered books in a big way, and has a few favourites that she brings over, shoves into my lap and grunts madly to indicated that she wants me to read it to her (ones that Huey and Arlo loved that we brought with us, like ‘Where’s the Kitten?’ and ‘Little Calf’ – she points out the kittens and the calf). She loves all her brothers and her Bean, and once she has got used to them any other adult who will carry her about and show her stuff, but as Huey remarked today, she loves her Baba best.
Tycho
Awful: Um, again not much to report. He wakes up a lot at night. Sometimes he has grizzly days.
Awesome: I could write a book! Tycho is the most chilled out, funny, happy baby that we have. He spends his days pottering around the house making funny faces (duck lips!) and babbling and pulling stuff off shelves and pushing things in front of him. He absolutely loves to go outside and will bolt for any door that opens. He also loves to be in the thick of whatever family activity is happening (to the frustration of Arlo and Huey when that activity involves roughhousing or a board game). And he has a passion for mobile phones and the computer (like Huey!). He is, apart from the odd grizzly day, an absolute delight to have around. And he plays favourites less than Jinny – despite Cristina having done the bulk of his care (we have done much less co-feeding and co-sleeping than we did the first time around, because it is just practically easier to only have to keep track of one baby), he still lights up when he sees me and reaches out. The other day Cristina and I spent about twenty minutes just passing him back and forth as reached first for me, and then for her, and immediately back to me again and so on.
Jinny-and-Tycho: These two babies adore each other. They make each other laugh simply by crawling towards each other. They often roam the house as a little pack, making a break for the outside, raiding the kitchen shelves, pulling up on a hapless parent and asking to be picked up. I’m looking forward to watching their relationship grow.